|
|
 |
 |
problem |
 |
| |
Posted: Gina-Goo @ Sat Mar 29, 2008 20:15
Quote: |
Hello =]
Its not really a problem just I cant work out what to do with my current
situation.
My mum and dad have been devoured for about 10 years and my dad has
moved close to me recently and my brother has moved in with my Dad
(because my brother got kicked out), when he lived where he used to I'd
go and see him regally because my brother didn't live with my dad or go
to see my dad, and I didn't want my Dad to get lonely so I visited him.
Now my brother lives with him, he has someone there so I don't see him
as much.
To be quite hoisted my Dad isn't nice at all, he doesn't mean to be a
completely ignorant of his action and words and how that would make his
children and the people around him feel, but unfortunately my Dad is.
In a few months my Aunt is getting Re-Married, she lives other the over
side of the country so I don't see her or my cousin often, so I'd like
to go to her wedding. But my Dad and brother are going to be there and I
don't like the hassle they give me for not visiting them. They come out
with all sorts of rubbish, like I don't care for them or love them.
The area my Dad and brother live in isn't a safe place for me to be
walking about which is another reason I don't visit them, also when I do
they make me feel un-welcome, un-comfortable and its as though they
don't want me to be there.
Also I don't think my Dad understands that I am not 12years old anymore
and okay 15 may not be 'grown up' but I do have other things I have to
do and I have GCSE and cant spend all my time with my dad and brother in
a pub.
So, what do you think? Do you think I should go to my Aunts wedding? And
what I'm I meant to do when they stand there saying I don't care for
them?
The whole thing is got a bit too much for me to sort and I wound what
another persons point of view may be.
Thanks.
xx |
I can understand where your father and brother are coming from, as it would be easy for them to think straight away the simple idea 'that you don't love them'. They are obviously hurting from their seperation from you, it could be worse, after the divorce etc he may not of wanted any contact, some families unfortunatly end up like this.
GCSE's are important, but you don't want to avoid them for so long that it does turn into them distancing themselves completely. You need to adress the situation in a calm manner, you are obviously a bright and intelligent person from the way you've described everything. maybe organise a day where you can all three meet up, explain that you want to sort things out so that everyone is happy, even if it's a monthly visit.
Did you perhaps feel now your brother lived with your dad he didn't need you anymore? It ios clearly the opposit from how upset they are. You are clearly just as valuble to him as his son. I hope you go/went to the wedding, because even if they didn't act the way you hoped, you could still meet up and ask them why, tell your dad about how your GCSE's are important, let him know what you want to do in your future, give him insight into your life. You will already feel closer to one another I asure you.
Explain also about the area in which he lives and reason with him, meet somewhere else? Like the town centre, or generally somewhere you feel more comfortable. I suppose if you are in town then you have a wider variety of things you can do together, if the convorsation hits an awkward silence, go to the cinema, no one talks there! And then afterwards you can discuss the film. Involve your brother, you don't want to make him feel the way you have been feeling with them both.
If unfortunatly things like these don't work, seek more professional help. Family counselling perhaps? I guess you all have to ask yourself how much do you want to make this work and how far are you willing to go to get what you want. I think it would be so worth taking this futhur. I suppose if even that doesn't work, you tried, you all tried but I am sure that if you are determined enough then you can achieve whatever relationship you want with them.
www.fortysecondstreet.org.uk. 42nd street specialize in helping youths with any type of problems they may come across, it is a fantastic place I can asure you, a very warm environment. I think this could help, and if not they can refer you onwards to somewhere that would work better.
Good luck!
|
|
 |
Comments: 0 :: View the comments that have been posted so far. (Post your comment) |
 |
|
problem |
|
| |
Posted: Gina-Goo @ Sun Feb 17, 2008 14:32
i have loads of health problems and people tell me it through me not
eating, but i do eat just when i want to.
also my life seems to be getting worse then ever in the last month i have been kicked out twice atempted suicide, self harming, my sister is pregnant agsin... my mum doesnt even look at no more my dad doesnt speak to me anymore and when he does he just calls me names...
when i get to my mums after the weekend everybody looks at me as if i dont belong there and im not a member of the family...
it really hurts tho and now i cant show my arms off through the amount of cuts on them...
i have to go back to the dctors in two weeks... but i dont know what to do at all can you help??
Nobody should have to go through these things at all. But lets break it down.
First of all the eating habits. Obviously I don’t know how much you do eat but ask yourself, how often do you eat a day? Do you have 3 meals, do you snack a lot? Do you go days without eating? Then ask yourself, do you like your body? Do you feel better when you skip a meal? You may have a problem and not even realize it. http://www.b-eat.co.uk/ a great website for information on eating disorders (just incase) =]].
Being kicked out, what was it over? Was it a trivial matter? Did you do something or have you and your parents lost communication? It isn’t fair for your parents to treat you this way over nothing, or even if it’s over your problems. Sit your mum down and talk to her, tell you how you feel. Maybe the reason she can’t look at you is because she blames herself for her child’s troubles which is really common. Do you self harm because of how your parents are treating you? You sound like you need more professional help to be honest.
www.fortysecondstreet.org.uk 42nd street specialize in helping youths and I know they cover issues such as self harm. Why don’t you look on the website and see if it suits you? They might be able to refer you somewhere else which would be more suitable. Just someone to talk to, properly one to one.
I hope things get better I really do.
|
|
|
Comments: 0 :: View the comments that have been posted so far. (Post your comment) |
|
|
problem |
|
| |
Posted: Gina-Goo @ Sun Feb 17, 2008 14:31
i need help asap
im leaving home i cant bare it the is nothing i can do... people dont
treat me the same im not a member of the family no more... i have been kicked out twice and these not alot i can do please hurry and answer back x
Please please please don’t leave home. It seems like a good idea at first but then where will you go? How will you pay for money and supplies.
Why do you feel like you aren’t a member of the family anymore? And why have you been kicked out, yet back at home to want to leave again?
You need to talk to your family, reconnect. Ask questions, demand answers.
If you are dead set on leaving, seek help from Connexions.
|
|
|
Comments: 0 :: View the comments that have been posted so far. (Post your comment) |
|
|
problem |
|
| |
Posted: Gina-Goo @ Sun Feb 17, 2008 14:30
Some times life seems impossible, actually most the time for me. It
feels as though the whole world is out to get me and no one cares what
happens.
I never really stopped to think much of it all, but, everything can
change in seconds, what's bothering me at the moment is my best friends
death. He killed himself 3years ago today, I watched it and I don't
understand why I didn't stop him or try to save him, at the time he was
my boyfriend I loved him, I still do, so why couldn't I save him?? My
councillor said it was because I was too afraid but if you gave me the
chance again I wouldn't have just sat there and done nothing. I miss him
and I' am struggling with out him, so much.
When I' am doing something constantly it's not that bad as my mides
distracted but I' am running out of things to do.
I don't know.
Some days like to day I just want to join him, I mean it'd be so easy to
wouldn't it?? But then I think, don't I have to go out in to the world
and be the best I can be? For me and for him?? I don't know. I just miss
him and want to join him and just don't know what to do anymore, what do
you think I should do?
Xx
When somebody close passes away, there is no easy fix to make the pain disappear, ask anyone. Time is really the best thing. No-one is going to make you get through this quicker than you can do. Don’t blame yourself, it was his decision to do what he did. Think about it, you love him and I’m sure he loves you to, so would he want you fretting over what he did? Nahh, surely he wants you to do the best you can for yourself. Go out and take on the world, you say you don’t know what to do to keep yourself distracted? Get involved in voluntary work, help people who ended up in the same situation as your friend and stop them from making the same decision. Cause if they did, someone close to them would feel the exact same way you have been doing. I like the way you realize that “joining him” is not the sensible option, it wouldn’t be good for anyone, cause again, your family and friends would go through the pain you are now. I highly recommend continuing the counseling and maybe getting involved in helping others through similar situations.
|
|
|
Comments: 0 :: View the comments that have been posted so far. (Post your comment) |
|
|
problem |
|
| |
Posted: Gina-Goo @ Sun Feb 17, 2008 14:29
Quote: |
well it feels like am losing everyone around me and that they just
don\'t care. i don\'t know what to do. i want to die basically but i knw
that is not an option. i can\'t sleep at night and it feels like i
don\'t have a home anymore. what should i do?
im so confused and my heads ****** up because of my past. i need
help.... |
When you say you are loosing everyone, do you mean things such as friendships? That is unfortunate but rather common when growing up. It’s the people/friendships that stick around that are the ones that obviously are worth fighting for. Also, being a teenager is effort, I think we can agree, and it’s a time when every person gets disconnected from their family. I remember when I was around 14, my parents left me to it, in a good way mind. They didn’t nag me about being either out or being in my room (i.e not being around them much). Now, at the time it frustrated me cause I thought the same things “Do they not care? Do they not like me?” But It wasn’t that at all, and I look back now and appreciate the space cause everyone needs it from time to time.
I’m afraid my answer has to be limited because I don’t know about your past. But If demons are creeping you could seek professional help? If you are at school, consult your school nurse as they can probably give you a referral somewhere that will suit your needs.
|
|
|
Comments: 0 :: View the comments that have been posted so far. (Post your comment) |
|
|
problem |
|
| |
Posted: Gina-Goo @ Wed Aug 01, 2007 21:41
Since i started year 10. I have been bulimic.
And i have no idea what to do.
I have tried to stop so many times its unbelieveable.
At the moment i have everything i need.
I have the best friends i could ask for. And a mint boyfriend.
But i can\'t break out of my cycle.
Is there anything you can tell me to help?
X
You sound like you have a head on your shoulders, and I am very proud of you for trying to stop =].
However, bulimia is an illness and a lot of cases need medical attention.
I think this would be the best option for you. Try and visit your GP, they should be able to recommend someone or somewhere that would be best for your age or your condition etc.
http://www.b-eat.co.uk/Home
The website may be an easier way of offering solutions.
Keep going, it’ll be worth it to get passed this.
|
|
|
Comments: 0 :: View the comments that have been posted so far. (Post your comment) |
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
Registered Users:
None
| |
| |
Our Newest User
battysty
|
|
 |
Joined: 02 Feb 2012
Posts: 0 |
 |
|
Mood: Distorted
Mood: Very Sad
Currently: Working 
Mood: Cool
Mood: Amused
Currently: Eating flying pizzas
